Episode 14: Anticipatory Grief – When Tomorrow Hurts Today

In this deeply personal episode of Broken Vessels, Carrie Ann Bothmer opens up about the grief that begins long before the loss of a loved one—anticipatory grief. She reflects on her own journey as a mother watching her daughter, Cassie, battle severe substance use disorder, and the emotional toll it took on her as she navigated the years of hope, fear, and heartache.

Carrie Ann explores what anticipatory grief truly is and how it manifests in ways that are complex and isolating. She discusses the emotional, cognitive, and physical responses to the grief that comes when you are waiting for a loss that may be inevitable but still devastating. For parents of children battling addiction, the grief is compounded by the uncertainty of addiction’s unpredictable nature.

Through this heartfelt conversation, Carrie Ann shares her experience of living in a constant state of waiting, grieving the child she once knew and the life she had imagined for her. She talks about the relief and guilt that can coexist with this type of grief, and how faith in God became a lifeline in the darkest moments.

This episode is a compassionate look at the journey of anticipatory grief, offering understanding and hope for those who have been living with this painful experience. If you or someone you love is navigating grief before a loss, this episode will resonate with you, offering solace and the reassurance that you are not alone.