It’s Not Linear: The Recurring Nature of Grief
Grief is often described as a journey, but if you’ve experienced deep loss, you know that this “journey” doesn’t follow a straight path. It feels more like a cycle—one that spins, shifts, and repeats itself, sometimes when we least expect it. In my latest podcast episode, “The 5 Stages of Grief: The Endless Cycle,” I explore the complexities of the five stages of grief, originally introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
More Than a Linear Process
While these stages can be helpful for understanding grief, many people, including myself, don’t experience them in a neat, predictable order. You might feel anger one day, acceptance the next, and then be pulled back into denial weeks or even years later. Grief doesn’t have a clear beginning or end; it’s an ongoing cycle that ebbs and flows, and sometimes we find ourselves circling back to stages we thought we had long passed.
In my episode, I share personal stories and insights into how I’ve experienced this cycle, as well as how others have described their own journeys. For many, the idea that we “graduate” from one stage to the next is a myth. It’s more like a spiral, where we revisit certain emotions and confront new layers of pain and healing over time.
The Importance of Compassion in the Process
One of the most important things we can do for ourselves—and others—when we’re in the midst of grief is to have compassion. You might feel frustrated by the repetitive nature of the grieving process, asking yourself, “Why am I back here again?” But this is all part of the journey. Each time we return to a particular stage, we are often processing our loss at a deeper level.
For those supporting someone who is grieving, it’s crucial to remember that just because someone seemed to have reached a place of “acceptance” doesn’t mean their pain is over. Grief is cyclical, and emotions can resurface unexpectedly.
Finding Meaning in the Endless Cycle
As exhausting as it can be, there is meaning in the ongoing nature of grief. Each time we experience denial, anger, or depression, we’re working through a new layer of our sorrow. With each pass through the cycle, we learn more about ourselves, our relationships, and the person we’ve lost.
In my own grief journey, I’ve found that while the cycle may never fully stop, it does become more manageable over time. Faith, community, and self-compassion have been my anchors as I navigate this endless loop of loss and healing. I hope this episode offers some comfort and validation to those who find themselves in the same cycle, feeling like they’re spinning in place.
If you are grieving today, know that it’s okay to revisit stages you thought were behind you. Grief is not a journey you “complete”; it’s a part of who you are now. Embrace each stage with grace, and allow yourself the space to heal, over and over again. To hear more about this, listen to my latest podcast episode, “The 5 Stages of Grief: The Endless Cycle.”
